The Spider Queen

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The Spider Queen

Post by CinnamonPearl on Wed May 04, 2016 11:53 am

It would be a lie to say I didn't see it coming. The way she was at the vet... I had a feeling it was just too little too late.

Her last day was a good one, I think. When I got home from school, I noticed she was very set on not coming out of the tank with me. It was a weird change from the Lilith who would jump up onto my arm and climb on out like nothing could stop her. So I didn't force her. I just took her out for a little to weigh her- 20g- and then put her back.

I found her in the evening. She was under the tower where they all like to sleep this week, curled up like she was asleep. No sign of any struggle. I'm glad she went peacefully, with her sisters all around her. I'm glad I didn't take her out.

I.... don't really want to write this anymore. But I have some pictures.






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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by scaredymouse on Wed May 04, 2016 1:04 pm

I grieve with you, sweetheart. It's a terrible thing to watch helplessly as nature takes it's course. But she went gently and was surrounded by love. I can't even find the words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss...

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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by MouseLover on Wed May 04, 2016 1:41 pm

Rest in peace little Spider Queen.

CinnamonPearl I am so sorry for your loss Sad

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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by Peachy on Wed May 04, 2016 3:15 pm

She'll be missed. What wonderful photos to help you remember her. Sad
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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by CallaLily on Wed May 04, 2016 5:23 pm

She was a beautiful mouse. hugs

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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by stephlisa on Thu May 05, 2016 3:32 am

I'm sorry for your loss Sad
Rest in peace.

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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by MesaMouse on Thu May 05, 2016 1:12 pm

What a lovely girl! It's such a blessing for all when they pass peacefully.

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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by CinnamonPearl on Thu May 05, 2016 3:15 pm

Thank you everyone.

It's weird not having her around. Every time I see a shadow in their tank, I always get a little excited. Last night, when I was saying good night to all the girls as usual, I got to the end of the list, and I just paused for a second trying to decide if I should tell her good night or not. I knew there was little point, but I couldn't bring myself not to say the whole thing. And I keep getting confused as to why there's always so much leftover food before I realized last night that I gave them enough for five. It's going to be hard getting used to this. The girls are all doing good, which is really all I could ask for, and I'm managing.

I took the day off yesterday just to make the final preparations for her. I ordered her one of those pet memorial stones from LazerGifts that I get for all my animals. It'll take a few weeks to be proofed and get here, but I'd like to show you all when it does- they really are nice products. I drove myself to Michaels through a rainstorm to get her a nice wooden box to bury her in, and I decided to line it with fleece since she loves the stuff so much. (Not as much as Mabel, though- nothing will ever compare to Mabel's love for polar fleece.) I dropped her off at the vet for necropsy, and I switched her page over to a memorial page on the pet blog I go on from time to time. I figured I should just get it all done in one day rather than drag it out. I just hope the vet will call soon so I can go and bring her home. I don't like not having her at home. I think it'll feel better when she's safe and sound in the garden with Perry, Ace, and all my frogs and betta fish.

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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by timez on Thu May 05, 2016 4:34 pm

Aww Sad you know reading that made me want to cry myself.

I am praying for Lilith and for you - even now - she still has people who care about her - and i would say goodnight to her too if it was me.

For all we know she can still hear you saying that wherever she is.

and I think its lovely you do all that for your pets - that's the same sort of thing I would do.

I dont know if id ever stop saying goodnight to her with the others - probabbly not.

I hope you don't feel alone - she can see your love especially now and im sure she will stay with you until you meet her again.

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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by MouseLover on Thu May 05, 2016 5:40 pm

CinnamonPearl that's so nice that you do that for your pets. When my mice die I put them in a little cardboard box, and decorate the box with their name and pretty flowers, hearts or a pattern. I put a little flower in the box with them, and sometimes a cheerio, or whatever if they had a favourite treat. I write a little note on the other side of the box, saying who the mouse was and what she meant to me.

Taking care in the last thing I will do for them is part of my grieving process, it helps me express the love and care I had for that mouse. Writing a little something about her helps me process my thoughts, and it hurts, but I find it helps me let go better. So I can relate to the preparations you are making for your Lilith right now, and I think it's a beautiful way to express your love for her and say goodbye. I'd like to see the memorial stone, it sounds lovely.

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Re: The Spider Queen

Post by CinnamonPearl on Thu May 05, 2016 5:54 pm

She's home.

Her necropsy is so far inconclusive, but the doctor sent out a few samples. I hope they'll help.

I would bury her today, but there are pool guys messing around out back. I don't really want to do this with an audience, so I've decided to wait for tomorrow. I picked out a spot in the garden where there's room for all five of them when the time comes. I always sorta intended to keep them all together, like what I did for my fire-bellied toads.

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